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Day to day prayers

EronC — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 04:01:30 +0000

As the years have gone by I’ve always thought it was wise to spend a good while in prayer over any major decision in my life.

I wonder how different my life would be if I spent just as much time being as faithful to pray over the day to day mundane decision in life…

If I could write a song

EronC — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 02:41:45 +0000

If I could write a song right now they be very similar to these songs-

Every Season- -

Every evening sky, an invitation
To trace the patterned stars
And early in July, a celebration
For freedom that is ours
And I notice You
In children’s games
In those who watch them from the shade
Every drop of sun is full of fun and wonder
You are summer

And even when the trees have just surrendered
To the harvest time
Forfeiting their leaves in late September
And sending us inside
Still I notice You when change begins
And I am braced for colder winds
I will offer thanks for what has been and was to come
You are autumn

And everything in time and under heaven
Finally falls asleep
Wrapped in blankets white, all creation
Shivers underneath
And still I notice you
When branches crack
And in my breath on frosted glass
Even now in death, You open doors for life to enter
You are winter

And everything that’s new has bravely surfaced
Teaching us to breathe
What was frozen through is newly purposed
Turning all things green
So it is with You
And how You make me new
With every season’s change
And so it will be
As You are re-creating me
Summer, autumn, winter, spring

I Am -

Pencil marks on a wall
I wasn’t always this tall,
You scattered some monsters from beneath my bed,
You watched my team win,
You watched my team lose,
You watched when my bicycle went down again,

CHORUS:
And When I was weak unable to speak,
still I could call You by name,
and I said “Elbow healer, Superhero,
come if You can,” and You said “I am”

Only 16, life is so mean, what kind of curfew is at ten PM
You saw my mistakes, You watched my heart break
Heard when I swore I’d never love again

CHORUS:
When I was weak, unable to speak,
still I could call You by name,
and I said “Heart-ache Healer, Secret-keeper,
be my Best Friend” and You said “I am”

You saw me wear white, by pale candlelight,
I said forever to what lies ahead
two kids and a dream, with kids that can scream
too much it might seem when it’s two AM

CHORUS:
when I am weak, unable to speak,
still I will call You by name.
“Oh Shepherd, Savior, Pasture-maker,
hold on to my hand,” and You say “I am.”

The winds of change,
And circumstance blow in and all around
us so we find a foothold that’s familiar,
And bless the moments that we feel You nearer
Life had begun, I was woven and spun,
You let the angels dance around the throne, who can say when,
But they’ll dance again, when I am free and finally headed home

CHORUS:
I will be weak, unable to speak,
still I will call You by name
“Creator, Maker, Life-sustainer,
Comforter, Healer, My Redeemer,
Lord and King, Beginning and
the End, I am, yes, I am.”

Oh Great God -

oh, great god, be small enough to hear me now
there were times when i was crying
from the dark of daniel’s den
and i have asked you once or twice
if you would part the sea again
but tonight i do not need a fiery pillar in the sky
just wanna know you’re gonna hold me if i start to cry
oh, great god, be small enough to hear me now

oh, great god, be close enough to feel you now
there have been moments when i could not
face goliath on my own
and how could i forget we’ve marched around
our share of jerichos
but i will not be setting out a fleece for you tonight
just wanna know that everything will be alright
oh great god, be close enough to feel you now

all praise and all honor be
to the god of ancient mysteries
whose every sign and wonder turn the pages of our history
but tonight my heart is heavy
and i cannot keep from whispering this prayer
“are you there?”

and i know you could leave writing on the wall
thats just for me
or send wisdom while i’m sleeping,
like in soloman’s sweet dreams
but i don’t need the strength of samson
or a chariot in the end
just want to know that you still know how many hairs
are on my head
oh great god, be small enough to hear me now

Best Friend

EronC — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 10:05:25 +0000

So I’m pretty confident no one reads these anymore. Which I’m actually ok with. I like the few to non-existent creep factor for my blog anyway. But it’s still a good place for thought records.

Anyway, back to those questions that I like to ask people– the current question is…

Who is your best friend in the entire world? Describe who they are and why they are your best friend.

Not Ready

EronC — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 21:33:06 +0000

Tonight is the first night of summer studies. I keep putting off my prep. I first started the week before senior Sunday but I couldnt bring myself to finish it. Every time I start my heart breaks. This study is going to be a difficult one. When I chose it back in march I assumed I’d be so much further along in my current process than I am. But the 6 month marker looms over my head and I know it’s just another day in a difficult journey but I know all the texts a FB posts will make it harder to tune out the sound of my broken heart tomorrow. Unfortunately this study is bed fellows with this heartache that is so real in my life and the lives of the students I love and serve and reality is I’m not ready. I thought I’d be “ok” by now and I’m far from it.

It’s 430. Summer studies begins at 7. I have to pick people up by 6. I’ve only got two paragraphs of notes typed out and a handful of questions.

It hurts when I write, time is running out, and I’m not ready.

…anyone else want to teach…oh wait…God said this was my role for such a time as this…well that sucks because I’m not ready.

3 Words

EronC — Tue, 24 May 2011 02:46:09 +0000

I love to ask questions. Many times I go through a period of asking everybody the same question. Right now im in one of those phases.

The question:
What three words currently describe you? Not your emotions, but you as a person.

What are your 3 words?

Discipleship is….

EronC — Thu, 19 May 2011 03:14:45 +0000

So the current question pressing on my mind is what is true discipleship and what does it look like practically speaking?

So discipleship is….?

Road to Recovery pt.2

EronC — Wed, 11 May 2011 03:36:03 +0000

“it was a bathtub back in new York, reading Italian words aloud from a dictionary, that I first started mending my soul. My life had gone to bits and I was so unrecognizable to myself that I probably couldn’t have picked me out of a police lineup. But I felt a glimmer of happiness when I started studying Italian, and when you sense a faint potentiality for happiness after dark times you must grab onto the ankles of that happiness and not let go until it drags you face first out of the dirt– this is not selfishness, but obligation. You were given life; it is your duty (and also your entitlement as a human being) to find something beautiful within life, no matter how slight”
-Elizabeth Gilbert

My book is not an Italian dictionary. It’s much more embarrassing than that, but it is my slight happiness. It is reminding me to dream again (which was one of my goals) in a lot of ways it is my few pages of escapism each night. I look forward to the nights calm enough (and I’ve maintained enough energy to stay up a little later) to drift off to Italy with the 34yr old who escaped life to eat and experience the pleasure of truly finding what it means to live again. I long for that, unfortunately I’m not there yet, but the nights I read i am there and it’s nice.

Yeah…It’s nice.

Tomorrow we go to India together.

Monster in Law quote

EronC — Mon, 09 May 2011 05:03:42 +0000

“I am sick, sick, sick of your $#^+. When I’m not sick, I’m tired. I am sick and tired”

This is a relatively accurate description of my feelings at the current moment.

Much of this has to do with the overwhelming sense of drama that comes with being inundated with all the social networking ‘stuff’

Therefore for an undetermined amount of time im opting for a social networking fast.

I’m not sure what this means for the blog. I know I will cease my own blog creeping during said fast but as for my own writing I still undecided. I may write and set everything where it is entirely invisible. I may stop writing altogether. I may go old school and write in a journal since that seems to be what this has become as of late. Or i may do nothing and just post and random still. I don’t know…

But I do know this Facebook and twitter can kiss their apps goodbye…
….well from my phone anyway. And only for a little while. Yay breaks!

Truth in Strange Places

EronC — Thu, 05 May 2011 15:43:18 +0000

These are the lyrics to a song I really love. It’s called “Who am I Living for”

Yeah, yeah, yeah

I can feel a phoenix inside of me
As I march alone to a different beat
Slowly swallowing down my fear
Yeah, yeah

I am ready for the road less traveled
Suiting up for my crowning battle
This is test is my own cross to bear
But I will get there

It’s never easy to be chosen
Never easy to be called
Standing on the front line
When the bombs start to fall
I can see heavens
But I still hear the flames
Calling out my name

I can see the writing on the wall
I can’t ignore this war
At the end of it all
Who am I living for?

I can feel this light that’s inside of me
Growing fast into a bolt of lightning
I know one spark will shock the world
Yeah, yeah

So I pray for favor like Esther
I need your strength to handle the pressure
I know there will be sacrifice
But that’s the price

It’s never easy to be chosen
Never easy to be called
Standing on the front line
When the bombs start to fall
I can see heavens
But I still hear the flames
Calling out my name

I can see the writing on the wall
I can’t ignore this war
At the end of it all
Who am I living for?

At the end, at the end
Who am I living for?
At the end, at the end
Who am I living for?

Heavy is head that wears the crown
Don’t let the greatness get you down
Heavy is head that wears the crown
Don’t let the greatness get you down

Oh yeah
I can see the writing on the wall
I can’t ignore this war
At the end of it all
Who am I living for?

I can see the writing on the wall
I can’t ignore this war
At the end of it all
Who am I living for?

At the end, at the end
Who am I living for?
At the end, at the end
Who am I living for?

The song is by Katy Perry. Truth can find it’s way through all sorts of means.

Shadows

EronC — Thu, 05 May 2011 04:42:40 +0000

“don’t forget”
“succulent”

Words of a man lost long ago.

Echoes of a voice searching to be found once more, but bound to the past.

My feeling- indifferent.

Passionate about being passionate is but a shadow.

Not mad. Not sad. Not frustrated. Not Happy. Not excited. Not anything.

Passion is what has changed. I have none. And it used to be all I was- passionate.

Now it’s all tucked away hiding in the shadows unable to be seen.

Grasping for everything and coming back with a fistful of air.

The remnants of feelings lie in the shadows.